NONVERSATIONS

Me in Maine. Bobby in New York. On the phone. Earlier I left him a voicemail saying I was in Maine for the weekend.

ME: Hey, Dad?
BOBBY: Right!
ME: So you got my message?
BOBBY: Right! So where are you?
ME: It's a friend's house
BOBBY: Right! What's the name of the town?
ME: There is no town. We're on a lake in the middle of nowhere.
BOBBY: There's got to be a town.
ME: No town!
BOBBY: Well, what's the nearest town?
Me: It's not too far from the capital...
BOBBY: Uh-huh...
ME: ...Augusta.
BOBBY: Wait a minute...
ME: ...
BOBBY: You can't just make it up.
ME: Excuse me?
BOBBY: Where are you near?
ME: Augusta, the state capital.
BOBBY: Augusta is not the capital of Maine.
ME: Well, I'm up here Dad and it is.
BOBBY: I've been alive a lot longer than you have and I think I know the capital of Maine.
ME: I was surprised too but...
BOBBY: Portland?!?
ME: Most populated, but not the capital. I thought it was Bangor but...
BOBBY: It's Portland.
ME: Go check, I'll wait!
BOBBY: It's not important.

a long silent pause.

BOBBY: Hold on.

a longer silenter pause

BOBBY: Learn something new everyday!
ME: That's what makes life beautiful!

A major trans-state nonversation is narrowly averted...