NONVERSATIONS

Obilgatory Background: This nonversation occured while I was away at college; proof that distance is no obstacle to the nonversation. I received this cell phone call from a "restricted" number sometime in the winter of 2001.

Me: Hello?
**after a degree of silence**
Unknown Caller: Hello?
**more silence**
Me: Who is this, really?
Unknown Caller: Chris, it's your father
Me: Oh, hey dad. How's it going?
Bob Knight: You tell me.
**this comment was ignored**
Bob Knight: This cell phone thing is not really working out is it?
Me: What does that mean?
Bob Knight: It means... genius, that what's the point of having a cell phone if we can't get in touch with you?
Me: I'm confused. I thought I was talking to you right now
Bob Knight: I called you. That means I'm the one talking to you. You're listening.
Me: You must be joking
Bob Knight: Then why can't I get a hold of you?
Me: My phone is so that I can call other people, not the other way around.
Bob Knight: That doesn't make any sense
Me: sure it does
Bob Knight: technology goes both ways, if your not using it for both then you're wasting everyone's time
Me: What are you talking about?
Bob Knight: That's the definition of technology. Imput and Output - they go hand in hand.
Me: This isn't a video camera.
Bob Knight: I teach college. You go to college.
Me: Alright this is stupid. I'm looking up technology on dictionary.com.
Bob Knight: I'm waiting
**a brief pause as I fire up my web browser**
Me: "Technology: 1)The application of science, especially to industrial or commercial objectives. 2)The scientific method and material used to achieve a commercial or industrial objective."
Bob Knight: Exactly and in the case of a cell phone that objective is not only making calls but receiving them as well.
Me: I am flabbergasted

I cut this particular nonversation short, though it could have gone on indefinetly. And while this short little guy is neither the most interesting nor the most tedious I have had, it does illuminate one of the prime features of the nonversation - the circular logic used by participants. A nonversationalist feels his arguments are air tight and without error but realizes they are so dense and difficult to grasp that they need to be repeated over and over ad naseum. As a result the nonversationalist becomes so attached to his avenues of attack that he is completely unwilling to abandoned any faulty logic. This has caused me personally to have spent countless hours defending facts and assertions that I very well knew were completely ridiculous in the name of winning a nonversation. My next example will bring this disturbing trend even further to life.